If I’m being honest, today I’m hungover as fuck and not a single sentence that’s going through my head right now is worth sticking in here. However, I can give you a vague update of my night of drunken shenanigans (which isn’t so entertaining either!), but it does actually involve the tart so I guess it could be classed as relevant…
The night started off with me tasting a shot of my home-made coffee-infused vodka, which turned out bloody good, and of course one shot led to another and then a couple more. I was alone in my kitchen at this point so I understand if I’ve given the impression of being an alcoholic, but it’s only right that I taste my own goods before offering them to others. I’m sure anyone else would do the same. Nobody actually showed up to mine because everyone decided it would be best to meet directly at a bar so I inevitably made my way there, in a tipsy state.
Once I arrived at the bar (which is basically the local coffee shop that happens to sell alcohol since there are no bars in our immediate vicinity, yes it’s a sad situation, but at least if anyone gets too drunk there’s coffee to even it out), everyone was already at the drinking games stage so I also got stuck in with my crazy-strong German beer and it all spiralled from there.
The most eventful event (yes, like I said, my vocabulary is limited today!) of last night occurred at precisely 1:37am when an aloof foreign exchange student entertained us with some magic tricks and bought us six litres of extremely diluted beer, which we guzzled down despite the low alcohol percentage. As it reached 3am,we headed for street BBQ, renowned for eliciting some serious bowel issues which we seemed not to give a damn about in that moment, and managed to eat a cow’s weight worth of strange-looking meats, deep-fried vegetables on sticks and some funky fish tofu.
A Dutch guy preceded to eat some oil-drenched strands of spicy aubergine from my fork, which was a little strange since we’d only been acquainted two hours prior to this. We were also hounded by locals who insisted on taking no less than a hundred selfies with us and practise their oral English to show off to the majority non-English speaking residents that surrounded us. Upon leaving, we were spontaneously presented with gifts from the stall-owner which included a glass thermos, an anime-looking soft toy, a hand-made card which said ‘I love you’ on the cover and ‘happy birthday’ inside and some really useful, much-needed stationary.
I ACTUALLY HAVE NO OTHER PICTURES OF THE DAMN TART…sorry for the overwhelming text and repetitive photos!
Man was I on the toilet for at least an hour almost immediately after having consumed the back street goods. Anyway, after the relief granted from emptying my bowels, I wasn’t satisfied with what I had eaten so I snatched this one little remaining tart from my refrigerator and stuffed the whole thing in my mouth without any thought and then hit the sack.
And that was my night.
Makes 20 tartlets
- For the pastry, please refer to my pastry shell recipe
- For the chocolate hazelnut filling please refer to my faux Nutella
- 100ml whipped double cream
- 1tsp rose essence
- 1tbsp icing sugar
- 50g preserved fruits
- 100g shelled pistachios
- 150g granulated sugar
- 100g preserved/dried fruits (your choice)
- Handful basil flowers
- Spoon the chocolate spread into the tart shells and leave aside.
- Fold the icing sugar and rose essence into the double cream.
- For the praline, heat the sugar, without stirring, until it becomes a golden liquid at which point it can be briefly stirred to avoid sticking to the pan or burning.
- Place the pistachios in a flat, single layer onto a tray lined with greaseproof paper and evenly pour the sugary liquid over them. Leave to solidify at room temperature for at least an hour.
- Put it all together and make it look pretty.
Enjoy after a drunken night out!